Negotiation is all around us. Whether you’re making your case for the last slice of pizza at games night or pitching for the salary you deserve in a job interview, negotiating is a key life skill.
Knowing the basics of negotiation will stand you in good stead at university, at work and in everyday life. So, how do you negotiate? If you follow our advice, you’ll soon become a super negotiator.
Our tips on how to negotiate are:
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1. Be fair
Strong negotiation creates a deal that both parties feel good about. You don’t want others to walk over you, but you can’t expect to take away everything. Change your mindset to win-win, not out to win. If all parties get something good out of it, you’re more likely to succeed in negotiation.
For example, if you want somebody to cover your pub shift on Friday night, you’ll stand a better chance of finding somebody willing to swap if you offer to take on the Sunday roast rush. Plus, your reputation will be far greater if you negotiate fairly and respectfully. Negotiation is about compromise, not railroading others.
2. Listen
The key to successful negotiation is understanding the other party's wants, needs and motivations. You can only do this by listening and drawing out information from what they tell you. So, if somebody on a society committee is pushing for an event theme that you disagree with, you need to hear them out before you dismiss them. Once you’ve dug into what they’re hoping for, you’ll understand what’s most important to them and can reach a compromise.
3. Understand the other party’s values and fears
Having something that means a lot to the other party and not that much to you is a great card to play when negotiating. Once you find out the other party’s motivation, keep it in your pocket for the latter part of the negotiation.
For example, have you ever seen a salesperson throw in a free warranty when they fear they’ll lose your sale? It’s likely a marginal cost to the business, but it gives you the peace of mind that you can return it if anything goes wrong. They know you’re worried about your laptop breaking, so they play into your fear by doing you a favour that eases it but is easy for them to do.
4. Prepare
We’re sure you’ve heard this one before: “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” While you might be tired of lecturers saying it to remind you to revise, it’s a key thing to remember when getting ready to negotiate.
Before you go into any kind of negotiation, think about what you want and what alternative options you’ll take. If you’re negotiating as part of a group (ie. in a uni project team or as a society committee), you need to make sure that you’re all on the same page before you begin any negotiations. You’ll struggle to negotiate with another party if your team start in-fighting.
5. Set the scene
Surroundings and climate make a difference in negotiation. Choose the venue carefully as it’ll reflect how the negotiation may play out. For example, cold classrooms inspire hostility, while a more informal setting may encourage warmth.
So, if you’re asking for a flatmate to pick up more housework while you’re busy at uni, have a polite chat over coffee somewhere cosy. It’ll work better than formally sitting across from each other at a big table.
6. Set the tone
At the beginning of a formal negotiation, set out the terms of engagement. For example, everyone should agree to have a respectful negotiation with no interruptions. You can use this approach if things are tense among your housemates, or you’ve got something to discuss collectively as a society.
Having established boundaries at the start of the negotiation ensures everyone’s on the same page about what you’re negotiating. Plus, it makes it easier to anchor back if anyone strays from the point. For example, if someone keeps talking over others, you can remind them that they agreed to not interrupt.
7. Know your bargaining power
Bargaining power comes in many forms and you often have more of it than you think. When it comes to negotiating well, it’s key to understand where your strengths lie. Think of your strengths as your bargaining power. So, if you’ve got experience in a niche area, you can negotiate a higher salary based on the fact you won’t require as much training.
8. Remember that some deals just won't work
Not all negotiations result in an agreement. Some negotiations will reach a standstill. If this happens, take a break and regroup. It’s also OK to be open and discuss why you’re getting stuck. However, even with all the talking, sometimes you still won’t find a way forward.
Although you can do your best to persuade others to come around to your way of thinking, you can’t control what other people want to do. If none of your friends want to discuss holiday budgeting, you’ll have to face the reality that some plans never make it out of the group chat.
9. Don’t take things personally
Your reading group doesn’t want to change from Wednesday evening to lunchtime even though it’ll help you make more sessions? Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean they don’t like you.
It likely means the new time doesn’t work as well for everyone else. When negotiations don’t go your way, remember that the result isn’t a reflection on you as a person.
10. Enjoy it
Sometimes, negotiation is tense, drawn out and stressful. However, it doesn’t have to be. If you follow our tips, you can learn how to turn it into an enjoyable experience.
Think of negotiation as an exciting challenge and an opportunity to hear other people’s thoughts. If you enjoy negotiation, it’ll also become easier for everyone else involved. And chances are, the happier you all are, the better the result will be.
Key takeaways
Negotiation is a key skill you’ll use at uni, at work and in your everyday life. While you can’t always get what you want, practising negotiating and homing in on your skills will improve how your future negotiations play out. Remember though, it isn’t all about winning. If you only take one thing with you, keep win-win in mind. Negotiating is about getting a good deal for everyone; not getting one over the other party.
If you’re fair, listen, understand people’s values and fears, do your prep work, set the right scene and tone and know your bargaining power, you’ll be in a good position to negotiate. No matter how great your negotiation skills are though, you can never guarantee you’ll reach an agreement.
If things don’t go to plan, remember that some deals won’t work and that it’s nothing personal. Keep our tips in mind and do your best to enjoy your next negotiation – whether it’s about pizza or wages.
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